"We create ourselves by what we choose to attend to. Once this work of self-authorship has begun, we then inhabit the world we have co-created. We self-seal. We don't notice anything except those things that confirm what we already think about who we already are...when we succeed in moving outside of our normal processes of self-reference and can look upon ourselves with self-awareness, then we have a chance at changing. We break the seal. We notice something new" (Wheatley, 1999). None of us discover who we really are until we free ourselves from the concepts of who we are and are not.
excerpted from Living With Your Heart Wide Open by Steve Flowers and Bob Stahl (2011).