I have been trying so hard to communicate with my spouse but he remains unable to find his feelings. What can I do?
A common situation such as this does not have an easy solution. What you are observing guardedly within his recovery is probably the best he can give with his limited vocabulary of his feelings. Remember that he probably has more field time from his family of origin than he does his relationship with you. The best you can do is set the bar high for your expectations of his change. Change is very possible and very real. The most enduring change comes from his consistent, regular, and supported therapeutic work with his therapist. Decide how much you need to be involved and how much you need to step back and trust in the process. His surrender to his powerlessness and unmanageability cannot occur until your own surrender allows you to step out of the way of his needed change. You have my support and that of many trained CSAT specialists who have the interests of a renewed relationship as part of a long-term recovery plan.