Recovery On Purpose - Evidence-based therapy for contemporary solutions
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ControlAltDelete
Second Year of Service
New Years Resolutions
How can I block porn on a mobile phone?
Is Mine an Addiction?

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ControlAltDelete

A device which works to overcome temptation or craving is to borrow from computer language the ultimate intervention:  Ctrl+Alt+Del.
 
The next time you are tempted beyond your willingness to enjoy the natural experience of temptation hit your Ctrl+Alt+Del button. What this means is to deliberately choose the action which will effect you desired change. If you are viewing pornography on the computer, hit the Ctrl+Alt+Del buttons which will have immediate and irreversible outcomes of shutting down the sites you are viewing. You may also hit your power button on the CPU and shut down your computer completely.
 
This is also where you choose to phone a friend, sponsor, or mentor. If its efficient on the computer it will work with you. You also have the option of hitting the Esc button. Some situations can only be overcome by just walking away (escaping).
 
 

Second Year of Service

I wish to announce that we have quietly celebrated our second year of service delivery to the Edmonton and surrounding area. The website continues to garner worldwide attention with 48000 visitors. Rounding out the top 10 list of website uses are:
 
10. Edmonton
9.   Russia
8.   Denmark
7.   New Jersey
6.   France
5.   Netherlands
4.   Seattle
3.   Beijing
2.   Miami
1.   Dublin
 
I welcome legitimate blog entries and endeavour to provide you with any information I may have to assist you with your self-change efforts. I also commit to assisting you with suitable referrals to professionals to address both mental health and addictions issues.
 

New Years Resolutions

I encourage any individual struggling with compulsive sexual behaviour to consider the New Year as the beginning of the end of your devastated relationships. A CSAT trained therapist is available to meet with you and help you acknowledge the consequences of your actions. Let 2015 be a year of healing, forgiveness, and grace. I look forward to meeting with and having you accept the healing which is available with your rigorous honesty.

How can I block porn on a mobile phone?

A few of the most common porn blockers are:
 
Mobicip
Net nanny
Covenant eyes
Xwatch
K9 Web Protection:
http://www1.k9webprotection.com/has a free IPhone app.

Covenant Eyes  is a web browser that monitors everything that the addicted person looks at then sends a report to his/ her accountability partner, i.e. sponsor, wife, pastor, etc.
 
With an iphone you will have to block Safari. After downloading Covenant Eyes do the following:
 
1.      Go to settings/general/restrictions
 
2.      Create a PIN (by someone other than the client) then block the use of safari,
         the ability to download apps, and set internet restrictions to block adult content.
 
3.      The only way the individual will be able to access porn will be to ask his/ her partner or
         whoever is assigned the pin.
 
If Facebook is a problem then you will need to delete the app. and set up restrictions (mentioned earlier) to not allow re-downloading of the app.

Is Mine an Addiction?

Stanton Peele* posited that "any activity that can absorb a person in such a way as to detract from the ability to carry through other involvements is potentially addictive. It is addictive when the experience eradicates a person's awareness; when the experience provides predictable gratification, when the experience is used not to gain pleasure but to avoid pain and unpleasantness; when the experience damages self-esteem; and when the experience destroys other involvements. When these conditions hold, the involvement will take over a person's life in an increasingly destructive cycle."
 
I hope you have identified your situation as having life damaging consequences. If is happens to be your son or daughter, ask them to review the criteria for compulsive or addictive behaviours. If it happens to be your spouse or partner, have them complete an online survey or contact the writer. If this addictive behaviour is harming you, please take the first step towards your abundant and satisfying life. I am available to answer your questions. 
 
*As cited in Fundamentals of addiction - A practical guide for counsellors. (2014). Centre for Addiction and Mental Health. Eds. Marilyn Herie and W.J. Wayne Skinner. 4th Ed

Edmonton Facing The Shadow Men's Group

I am pleased to announce the dates for our next Facing the Shadow men's task group. Running for 7 Wednesdays starting on January 15th and ending on February 26, 2014. The sessions run from 6:30 PM until 8:00 PM. We will once again be utilizing the boardroom in suite 900 of First Edmonton Place. Your privacy will be assured. A reminder that a completed SDI 4.0 and (if relevant) a PTSI-R assessments are a requirement for the group. Cost for the assessments is $160.00. We will accept previously completed assessments if they are current. Please discuss the assessments with your CSAT therapist or speak directly with your facilitator Robert (780 686-7018). Cost for the entire group including the manual and all other handouts is $500.00. Alumni of previously completed groups with Recovery On Purpose or Recovery Path may attend for free. Please register with Robert or Recovery On Purpose. 

Invitation

Recovery On Purpose will gratefully celebrate one year of service to the Edmonton area in December 2013. I became fully certified as a CSAT this week after an intensive 19 months of training and supervision. I have welcomed several new clients to our services in the last few months and look forward to the delivery of task groups to compliment the work being completed by the clients. I appreciate your continued attention to the website and the blogs. We continue to receive over 1000 visitors each month and have totalled over 14000 visitors in the last 11 months. I expect December to be another vibrant month. I welcome any emails or phone calls to inquire about your getting started on a life worth living. Successful therapy awaits the brave of heart.

!!MOST WANTED LIST!!

As we, in the industry, continue to hear the diatribes of naysayers who maintain that sexually compulsive behaviours cannot become addictive behaviours; I challenge these few to attend the support meeting rooms full of men and women who have survived the ravages of sexually compulsive behaviour as an addiction.
 
I also challenge you who are reading this post and saying, "Yes", to step up to the plate and allow intensive therapy to guide you in breaking this menacing grip which your thoughts and behaviours have on you. It is one thing to read the information and commit to doing something about it soon. It is quite another thing to pick up your phone and make that first contact with a CSAT Therapist. Therapy will gently guide you to a self-understanding and determination to take control and master your thoughts and behaviours. Your hard work will open up possibilities you may not think are within your reach.
 
Please join me in a therapy session. Connect with others who have taken the first step and achieved freedom fro a personal bondage.

I WILL NOT Negotiate with Addiction

An update for those who have rallied behind me in my battle with addiction in the life of my son. I had to let my son go to the streets of his own devices about four weeks ago now. I remain heartbroken and miss my son deeply. My beautiful boy became a stranger I could no longer protect with the mantle of my sobriety. I have not seen nor heard from him, and wait, knowing full well that addictions chooses its victims and waits methodically until it has squeezed out every ounce of willfulness. I await the possibility of my prodigal son reaching the crossroads where he is offered the path of willingness and surrender. I hope he survives!
 
Never underestimate the damage of your addictive behaviour in the lives of those who love you deeply. You will most likely be the last one to recognize the pain and suffering caused by addictions. Listen up! Be courageous and take the step which will bring you to that place where the pain of death becomes the shadow of a life worth living.   

The Fiction of Me

"We create ourselves by what we choose to attend to. Once this work of self-authorship has begun, we then inhabit the world we have co-created. We self-seal. We don't notice anything except those things that confirm what we already think about who we already are...when we succeed in moving outside of our normal processes of self-reference and can look upon ourselves with self-awareness, then we have a chance at changing. We break the seal. We notice something new" (Wheatley, 1999). None of us discover who we really are until we free ourselves from the concepts of who we are and are not.
 
excerpted from Living With Your Heart Wide Open by Steve Flowers and Bob Stahl (2011).
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